Forgiveness is something I’ve always struggled to deal with, especially lately. It’s just a concept I STILL have trouble grasping. Is it moving on without holding any grudges? Is it writing off a personal debt to allow others to continue? I really don’t know. I just can’t bring myself to forgive others who have deeply hurt me. Odd enough as it is, the hardest ones to forgive are the ones that are closest. This post is not geared towards anybody but myself. But after speaking with friends, with family, they tell me I have an issue and I just need to forgive and move on. I say I did… but did I really?
How can it be that easy?… it’s never easy
How can someone so close, who knows so much, still manage to hurt me? to teach me a lesson (the hard way)? to move on with their personal life as if I wasn’t a part of it? I just can’t see how you can do these things on accident! so tell me how???
Is it just possible to move on without getting well? It’s how I’ve always dealt with hurts, obstacles, and troubles in my life before. Why can’t it work now? The future is something I can change, and that has been my motivating drive to continue on with life. I guess in a way, I try to use the future to spite my past… or those I can’t bring to forgive. I’ve heard this before and I know I’ve even given advice on dealing with it. But now that I’m the one dealing with it, it’s much much easier said than done.
… I need help.